You want a Holy Grail of beer? Here you go. Westvleteren 12, brewed by reclusive Trappist monks, fits the bill in every sense of the word. As far as the beer world is concerned, W-12 is the ultimate. It’s also extremely difficult to obtain.

Unlike the other Trappist breweries, the monks of the St. Sixtus Abbey take a more hardline approach to the concept of selling beer to sustain their abbey. They make darn sure they only sell enough to keep themselves at sustenance level, regardless of very high worldwide demand. While Rochefort, Orval, and Chimay are widely exported to the USA, Westvleteren is only available at the abbey.

Basically, the brewery makes three beers. You call the phone number in the morning and find out which one is available that day. Then you drive to the abbey and wait in a queue. If the twelve is being sold, expect to wait a while. There’s a limit of one case per car.

Apparently, the W-12 is fantastic. I wouldn’t personally know because I’ve never had the opportunity to taste it, and I probably never will. Because of the artificially reduced supply, beer geeks go absolutely apeshit about the twelve, and that certainly affects tasters on a psychological level when they finally get some of it past their lips.

I say great for them. Great for the St. Siuxtus Abbey, and great for anyone who relishes the challenge of obtaining this beer. For my money and semi-valuable time, I’ll take a Rochefort-10, an astoundingly excellent strong Trappist ale which I can find here in the USA. At this level of monastic breweing, “best” is a subjective term, and the law of diminishing returns definitely applies in a situation where customers are held at bay to the obtuse notions of religious tradition. However, Westy does offer an important lesson for students of marketing: If you brew it, then don’t advertise it, then hardly allow any of it for sale, they will come.

Generally all over the bottle.

-Mark