The beer festival season in the Northeast has begun.

Beer festivals are the best conventions in the world. Where else can you get such a diverse range of good beers under one roof, and unlimited samples of anything you’d like? Plus, you can buy all sorts of brewery-related crap. It’s enough to make a beer lover giddy.

But there’s a fine line between enjoying an evening’s sampling and being a drunken or inconsiderate idiot. Out of concern for our Beercraft readership, we’d like to offer a quick guide to staying on the correct side of the fence, in good spirits, and out of the paddy wagon.

1. Arrive early to avoid the rush.

Unlike fancy-dress parties, there is no fashionably late when it comes to a brewfest. Especially if you’re really into craft beer. Often, a festival will be divided into two sessions: an afternoon and an evening pour. Plan on attending the first session. The crowds will be lighter, giving you more opportunity to talk to the people who make the beer. your neighbors will also be significantly less drunk, rowdy, and obnoxious than the folks in second-session crowd, many of whom see the festival as more of a giant happy hour/frat party than anything else.

The other benefit to a first-session arrival is an assurance of beer. Brewers and brewers’ reps can only bring so much; four half-barrels is a common amount. When that dries up, they’re gone and you’re out of luck. So if you’re dying for a taste of that Stone Ruination IPA or Three Floyds, be the earlier bird.

If the beer festival you’re attending is a one session event, the same rules apply. If the thing starts at 5, be there at 4:30 and avoid the inevitable mad crush of thirsty humanity.

2. Little glasses add up.

You ever hear of the century club? That’s the old college drinking game where you drink a shot per minute for 100 minutes. On the surface, this doesn’t sound so hard, but when you do the math you realize the insane amount of alcohol and small amount of time involved.

Beer sample glasses are usually 2 ounces. If you’ve dillegently followed rule #1, you’re at the festival before the lines have formed, giving you quick access to hundreds of beers. Don’t succumb to temptation and slam down beer after beer. In your rush to try them all, your rate of consumption will increase, defeating the purpose of “tasting” in the first place. Then, after a while, your pants will likely come off, or you’ll knock, some brewer’s pouring station over. Or you’ll insult some biker dude, or something. However your demise comes, it will be quick and sure.

You can’t try all the beers at most one-day brewer’s festivals, so be smart about it. Go to the event website ahead of time and get a list of who’s participating, then go to a beer rating site such as Beer Advocate or Ratebeer and figure out which ones you really want to try (but leave some room for random tastings and experimentation). With this approach, you’ll get the most out of the event without murdering your liver, and you won’t walk away feeling you didn’t get your money’s worth.

3. Water is your friend

A good beer festival will make water available, hopefully for free but usually for sale. Don’t be a cheapskate. Buy a couple bottles of water. Taking frequent water breaks will extend your tasting time and cleanse your palate for the next beer. Oh, and for chrissake, eat something before the festival.

4. Taste in the right order

This can be a tough guideline to follow, since the brewery booths aren’t arranged in this way, nor are their individual taps. But if you drink a tonsil-stranglingly bitter double IPA, you won’t be able to taste anything in that wheat beer the next tap over. The bitterness will steamroll all over it. Again, this is where your friend H2O comes into play. rinse big beers off your palate with a couple swigs of water before progressing to gentler styles.

When tasting a range from one brewery, go from light to heavy. Start with their wheat beers, pilsners, and lagers. Move up to brown and pale ales, and hit the IPAs, stouts, and anything with the words “Imperial” or “Double” last. If in doubt, ask the brewer or brewer’s rep (not the likely clueless volunteer pourer) what order he or she suggests.

5. Don’t be afraid to take notes

If you’re into the beer fest, chances are you’ll be into a bar or beer store at a later time. By keeping brief tasting notes on the beers you really dug, you’ll increase your ensure a great beer experience when you hit the town. After a long afternoon’s tasting, it’s not always easy to remember that first beer you tried when you walked in. Swallow your pride, be a dork, and jot shit down.

Some beer festivals actually provide notepads for this purpose, but just bring an assignment pad, or something. Or surreptitiously enter the info in to the “notes” function of your cell phone. You could be texting a supermodel, for all the casual observer can tell.

There you go. Five simple tips to maximize your enjoyment of any brewer’s fest, and not be an asshole in the process. Beer is a great thing, and you’ll find the people who make it are friendly and passionate about what they do. The fruits of their labor deserve proper appreciation.

-Mark